Monday, November 24, 2008

To a few people from Saturday night (in order of appearance)

The random dude named Justin… You stood near us being all shady until you worked up the nerve to speak.  You chatted us up for all of five minutes before offering to “get us a drink”.  When you found out what we ordered, you kindly put them on MY TAB!  Get us a drink.  Buy us a drink.  Semantics I guess, but still, thanks for nothing.

The questionable 40 year old wearing a blazer…  How ironic it was that you approached while we were laughing about that fashion statement.  After whispering odd things into my ear like the brand name of everything you were wearing, you asked me if I “liked to party”.  At this point my friend, thanks Maureen, had successfully abandoned me!  When I told you that I did not “party” you insisted on asking me FOUR MORE TIMES.  Dude, I will tell you once more, to party would not be conducive to my job.  My bad, conducive is probably too big of a word for you to process at this juncture in the evening.  Look, here are your friends, and oh wow, they are leaving.  Peace.

Jonnie and Fonz… How I miss thee.  I forgot how great Fonz’s dry sense of humor is to be around.  Jonnie, you always told me you could dance, but I thought you were kidding.  We should do it again sometime soon boys, and you should bring Craig.

Craig… I am sorry I did not have a chance to really talk to you, but I forgive you for baptizing me in your beer.

Last, but by no means least, the tow people…  YOU JERKS!  Now it was my friend’s car, and not mine, so I have a bit of a different perspective, but I was not thrilled.  Ok. Fine. She parked in an empty parking lot DIRECTLY across from where she was going.  Sorry she felt like that would be a safe option.  When we went to get her car, you put your shady ass place in the nether regions of the city.  Not where people die, but where people drop the bodies.  Not kidding.  I have never felt unsafe in my own city until last night when we went to claim her very nice luxury vehicle from a dark alley in the industrial park southwest of the city.  Oh, and did I thank you for letting us talk to a one sided window with half of the letters peeled off?  I didn’t?  Well, thanks.

There it is.  The bad, the good, and the ugly.  Thanks…in varying degrees.


Columbia Lily said...

yeeurgh....sounds AWESOME. Glad you're safe.

Just say Julie said...

wow. you do know how to party :)