She wants to be a washed up Disney star

Two years ago I “adopted” my first child. She is an adorable little girl. She was just this little puff ball of fur that I had to have the moment I picked her up. As has been mentioned, I went to a flea market to buy an armoire and ended up with a dog that stole my heart. She is a purse puppy, but packed with personality. Taller and thinner than is her breed standard. Crazy spunky and stubborn just like her mama. Her favorite hobbies are dancing and NOT giving you her toys. Oh, and yes, she does like long walks on the sidewalk.

In recent weeks I have been letting her run around the house with a lot more freedom. I knew with the new job it would be an adjustment for her to not have me around. Well, in her sheer excitement of my new furniture, her new sheets, moving back into her bedroom complete with decorations, and a few new toys, she threw out her back. Yep, you heard me right. My two year old suddenly progressed into an arthritic old woman. The poor thing would just sit and whimper. When I tried to pet her, put on her leash, hand feed her, or simply move my hand in her general direction she would yelp in pain. I, being a great dog mom, ignored it for a few days. God help me if I ever have human children. I finally took her in on Tuesday of this past week.

Later, when I went to get Cooper, they accidentally gave me Britney. My dog now has five…FIVE medications to take for her freaking back. It actually turned out to be a hip. The diagnosis is complicated so I will not get into it. Not only does she have a slew of pills to take multiple times a day, but she LOVES them! This is a dog that refuses to eat for days at a time. And now she is a pill popper! While she does seem to be getting a little better, I fear that she will throw her hip out again just to GET MORE DRUGS!! A very Lindsay move if you ask me. I fully anticipate to walk into her room (known as the kitchen) in a week and see her with a serious case of the shakes. I miss when she was young, fun, and just a little bit crazy. I miss her Miley days.
Until those days return, she will be known as Cooper Lohan-Spears.


She walked around with this bottle in her mouth for about 10 minutes before she set it down on her blanket for a rest.

This one she picked up off the coffee table and came and sat in front of me in the kitchen. I guess she sat so I thought she was being good and would give her one of her "treats". Notice the martini glass that she drinks out of behind her. Maybe she wants to be Karen Walker?

SOMEBODY CALL INTERVENTION!!