6 AM – Never good

Yesterday was a little up in the air. To say the least.
My phone rang at 6:40 in the morning and it was my mom. This is NEVER a good sign! She told me that Aunt Pat died about an hour earlier. My uncle and 2 cousins decided late Tuesday night that she would not want to continue being brought back just to pass later. Together they decided to file DNR papers, so when she coded again at 4:30 (5:30 my time), they let her go. Just typing those last four words make me cry! I am so mad I could spit nails. I am so sad I just want to curl up and cry. I just want to be strong and emotionless for my mom.

I told my mom I would fly up with her later that day. Neither one of us are really good fliers, so I thought together we could tackle this fear. The onslaught of phone calls started at 7:30. My sister immediately went into planner mode and started calling airlines to “get the best rate”. We were put on stand by for probably 4 different flights. She would call me just about ever 10 minutes to tell me something else. I told my mom I could not handle my sister and asked her not to call until there was a set-in-stone plan. Sometimes my mom and I communicate better with little or no middleman. I sat and waited for a call.

My brother just happened to be off yesterday and went up to hang out with mom. Just to do whatever they needed him to do. I know mom greatly appreciated this simple act!!

My uncle told my mom to come up IMMEDIATELY! Mom told me that she could handle flying alone if I could come up Thursday. I agreed and unpacked one day of clothes.

Later that night mom called and told me to fly up with my brother early Friday morning and come back with her later. I agreed and unpacked another day of clothes.

Today has been pretty quiet. I got some sleep, picked up my dry cleaning, took Cooper to the kennel. (That is another post in itself!) I made flight arrangements for myself and watched my recording of So You Think You Can Dance. I DVRed it thinking I would be at the airport. Aunt Pat LOVED reality television, so I know she is laughing about the fact that I sat watched it in order to “stay busy”.

Those are the basics. I have been trying to write this post for the past 3 hours. I have a lot to say, but can not manage to type it. Maybe some other time.

Like waiting for a birth, but the opposite

I decided not to go out with friends to watch the game tonight, and didn't really have a good reason.

I just got a call from my sister. A quick recap with no details. My aunt got sick, got a pacemaker, went home, got better. Much better. Suddenly got really bad. Went back to the hospital, doctors experiment with countless drug cocktails, aunt gets better, goes home. She was home for about 5 days. Again, gets really bad, goes back to the hospital. I get a call about 20 minutes ago from my sis that she coded, was revived, and can I fly with mom to see her. I have no other details at this point. Given her medical history, Aunt Pat could be up and playing dice with us on Thursday afternoon. I really have no idea.

I guess that was my reason.

Without a hitch

Well, it has been a long day! Long story short, it went really well. There were some tears, a few laughs, and LOTS of hugs. Despite two or three very minor glitches, everyone walked across the stage proudly. That includes my blind student and the one that typically uses a wheelchair because of a car accident three years ago. As I have mentioned before...I am a proud parent with no kids.

I have just returned from my 4th and final graduation party of the day. It has been long, but very rewarding. I am so glad to leave this job with a good...no great memory! Congrats to all of my grads. You all deserve nothing but the best in life. Now, "go forth" and attack life.

Now I can start writing about my life beyond work. ;)

The one where Pam, Patterson, boss, and I go crazy

NOTE: To understand this post, you must realize that graduation is organized by the associate principal’s secretary.

Today is the first day of my vacation. What do you think I did? Yep, that’s right, I went to work. “Oh, but Colleen, that must be so exciting. A new job and all,” you say? Nope, not the new job. The old FREAKING job!!

In reality I can not be that mad because it was completely self-imposed. I was actually done with work on Tuesday, finished off my office Wednesday morning, and swung by my boss’ office to see if he needed any end-of-the-year help. When I walked in, his old secretary (Pam) was there – she retired this time last year. I was super excited to see her and kind of screeched out “HEY” when she shot me a look of “oh holy hell!” I knew things were not good. I asked her if she needed help and basically, nothing…I mean NOTHING was done for graduation other than the program. Diplomas were still in the box, not proof read, no honors stickers on them, no Honor Society stickers on them, envelopes did not have stickers, failures had not been pulled, the binder of speeches was not put together, SPED was coming to pick up certificates at any moment; it was bad. Like that little kid says…”he was injured; injured bad”.

To help alleviate the huge time constraint, I go and grab the senior class sponsor and we start working. Five hours later (and half an hour after the current secretary left), we break to go home; the plan was to reconvene this morning at ten. I felt like crap this morning. (Not unusual for the first week of summer. Once my body knows it can slow down it usually becomes very ill.) I get there at 10:30, Patterson gets there about 10:45, current secretary is no where to be found. I find some keys, get into the office and the secretary arrives. We get to work by 11:00. Secretary breaks for an hour plus lunch at 12:30. By this time Pam had arrived so she, Patterson, my boss, and I worked while the person that is supposed to be doing all of this is at lunch with her bo-friend. NOT KIDDING. Wish I was! Another five hours later, I have to go because I have an appointment.

I feel like pretty much everything is done, but not because of the person who is supposed to organize graduation. It was only done because Patterson and I want these kids to get the right diploma and Pam (old secretary) just loves my boss and has a very kind heart. I will let you know how it goes on Saturday. Graduation Day!!

On another note, my appointment was with my hair lady. (She doesn’t like the fancy of “stylist”, so my sis and I just call her a hair lady.) Well, I cut 6 inches off of my hair!! CRAZY! I think I really like it. I just hope I can style it the way she does. My hair is curly and it just gets worse as it gets shorter. Thanks a ton for the super cute cut, Kathe! Again, I will let you know how it goes on Saturday.

"Wordless" Wednesday

T minus 2 days

Well, I have one more day with my kids. I am a little torn about it. Today was the last day of the kids pictured below, and it was typical. I have to say that I am really glad that they were ornery. In reality, I am pretty sure it was me. I was tired, stressed, overwhelmed, and just irritable. I felt like I had a ton to do but was just spinning in circles. Because of all of that, we did not have time for the sappy goodbyes, “who are we going to visit” moments, and this is our last lunch together feelings. Honestly, since I burst into tears when I told them I was leaving, I know I could not have handled much today.

I brought my second (and last) car load of stuff home. That is not all that much stuff if you know what kind of car I drive. My grades are fairly up to date, and I probably have one more box of random crap to pack at work. All of that being said, it is still a strange feeling. I have so much angst and so many bitter feelings about where I work, but I adore the people I work for…the kids. As one of them said, this is a comfort zone at its finest. I am by no means upset to leave the environment; I just hope that I have as much fun in my new office. Not to mention, I have never really had any “real” time off. Sure, I get vacations here and there, but it is always just enough time to start relaxing and then just head back to work. I am nervous that I will go stir crazy with my 6 weeks off. More importantly, I think I am going to spend a ridiculous amount of money!! Robyn…HELP!

Anyhoo, I will keep you posted as the week progresses. C warned me that my last day will be terribly upsetting. She left last year under similar circumstances. She was equally unhappy with the situation, but also had family up north. She has been through it, warned me, so I warn you…I may be making some phone calls Wednesday night.

Wordless Wednesday

Because words could not express how very proud I am of these kiddos!!

Focus... (cont.)

The rest of yesterday's post. Scroll down to begin.



4.) KICKBALL! This one has been months in progress. I knew that it would be thrown together given the end of year activities, but it was on the verge of exploding. Long story short, I made it a priority, MY kids made it a priority, the players …?… not so much. People got involved that just did not need to. It pissed me off beyond belief, and my poor kids got the wrath. I am so sorry, yall. Please know that it was not at you and I am sorry you took it. That being said, my kids pulled off the first great thing I have seen while being at my current place of business!! They put together a powder puff kickball game that was far beyond my expectations! Parents, students, alumni, and Grinsie all came and had a great time. Congrats to you all. Each of you has so much to offer the world. I am proud to have known you.

5.) I am appreciated! Two weeks ago one of my kiddos brought me roses as a “Thank You”. I was shocked. It made my day; if not my week.



6.) The light. I see it. The end is near. Geez, that sounds far more morbid than I mean it to sound. I am not sad to leave the comfort because, to be honest, it is no longer comfortable and has not been for 2 years. I am sad to say goodbye to the good people. I am sad to say goodbye to great kids. I am BEYOND EXCITED about what is in my future!!

That brings me to my next point. I LOVE MY NEW JOB!!!! Today I had a meeting there and had the same feelings I did the first time I walked into the place. Initially I think, “What in the world am I doing here?” It is just so drastically different from what I ever thought of doing in my life. It is exactly the opposite of “the type” of person I would associate myself with in life. But once I am actually past the entrance and down the hall I realize on thing. This is perfect! As one of my favorite kids said today, “where are you going?” I answered his question. Completely straight faced he said, “Oh. Heaven. Can’t blame you.” There is so much more than the stereotype of what I know. Once I am inside, it is nothing like my perception. I mean sure, it is beautiful, but not stuffy or stuck-up or bratty. It is an environment of development and challenges and growth and respect for everyone involved. Young and old alike. Once I am thoroughly engrossed in the day-to-day activities I hope I feel the same way. One of the people I spoke with today made the statement, “I have worked here for over 25 years and I am just as excited about it now as I was when I first started.” What a novel concept! Man! I can’t wait!

Focus people, FOCUS!!

Since I am pretty much done with new material at work, it is time to turn to the next task at hand. But there is so much to do before I can move on to my new challenge. The water is beginning to recede and the elephants are moving up the mountains preparing for the tidal wave. That was not a Republican joke, Eb. And yes, it does deserve to be capitalized. I digress. In response to the growing to-do list, I thought I would make a post of the “good stuff”. It was supposed to be just about work, but some other aspects of my life sneak in there also. It was too long, so the rest of the post will come tomorrow. Maybe Thursday. We shall see.

1.) Prom was wonderful. The kids looked nice, behavior was great, food was super tasty, music…was… well, music, the king and queen were very deserving (as were the other nominees), and my dress was the most comfortable thing I have worn in a long time. Well, since last year’s dress; which ended up being worn by one of my kid’s date this year.
I even ended up having a great prom night. Stop thinking that right now! I met up with a good friend of mine and we rushed to make last call. We had a nice little chat over a pint. Granted I was in full prom get-up and he was in jeans and a t-shirt (jealous!), but that is what I love about him. Always up for a pint…prom or pjs.

2.) Testing. First, it is over!! Aside from that, this is the best it has ever run. Thanks to my best friend, Robyn, who stayed up many a night until the wee hours of the morning. Everyone had a day off, tested grade levels they were familiar with, in their rooms, and even had breaks. THANKS ROBYN!! Now go hang out with your toddler and husband. She is the short one, he is a little taller. She is crazy cute, he is … a little taller.
My other test was at 7:30 in the morning after prom. I was really nervous that they would oversleep, but they all showed up. Now they were not wearing bells or anything, but they were there…EARLY! I provided breakfast and they just had to show up and do their best. They said they felt good about it. That could be a blessing or a curse. We shall see in a few months.

3.) My last DH meetings ended on a good note. They were short, sweet, and best of all, DONE! That is enough about those.

Again, the original post was way, way too long. Stay tuned for more tomorrow or Thursday...

Sorry, but...

It has been a little crazy here. Testing, prom, more testing, officially resigning, packing, planning end of the year party, tournaments, and preparing for graduation festivities gets a little overwhelming all at once. Not to mention it is still super hard to go to work each day, and at the same time, I am really sad to be leaving the people that are the reason I go to work. There are so many that I hope are successful in life, and I just wish I could hear about all those joys over the years. It is a bit of a bummer to know that the chances of that are slim now that I am leaving. My hope is that some will touch base a year or two or three from now at my new "place of business" and tell me some amazing story about something in their life.
It is quite a roller coaster. One minute I am upset because of some meeting that went terribly wrong, I gather my composure, and the next minute I am a mess because a kid gives me a "we will miss you so much" card.
In the coming months I need to refocus. I need to convince myself that I am good at what I do for a living. I never thought I was the best, but I honestly thought at one point that I was pretty darn good. After the past two years, I just want to be decent again.